I love to plan. I plan my trips in advance, plan my daily to dos. I am a serial planner. As much as I love planning, I struggle with doing. I only plan well, but some things I have a hard time doing. Am I a workaholic, yes, but I over plan and overlay schedule myself. It ‘is not a good thing. I have failed several times with the same goals and even recreated plans to please others. Sometimes I don’t focus on my personal, goals and I focus on work or other people’s to do lists. I make personal goals, I even time them, but I don’t always follow through with them. I limit myself and reschedule based on the needs of others. I have recently decided to focus on myself instead. These decisions were based on the fact that people have wasted my time and money. It wasn’t a pretty feeling and as I reflected on the events, I have realized it was not the first time it happened. I have allowed those same people to waste my time and money several times. I listen to inspirational speakers a lot and right now my favorite speaker is Lisa Nichols. She once said you teach people how to treat you and she was correct. I taught these people to disrespect my time and my money because I have done the same or gave them room to do so. I thought it was being nice, but I realize now I was being overly nice. I don’t hate these people, but I have stopped allowing them to waste my time, money and breath. I spent this summer removing negativity and making a complete commitment to myself. I decided to commit to my goals and my dreams and if someone was not committed to a relationship or even plans as I was they would be dismissed. It’s one thing to cancel once or even twice, but it’s another to claim yes when asked several times and pull out at a time when a refund was impossible. Lesson learned hard and clear. I realized if I were as focused on growing and helping myself as I was in trying to help someone else, then maybe things would have been different.
But, if I keep remembering the past and saying if, then I wouldn’t grow and make progress. I made a list of all the negative things, people, thoughts and experiences in my life and then I burnt them (literally). As I watched the past burn and realization dawned on me that this ‘was a time for a new beginning, so that is what I did. I began again. The transition was hard and is still hard, but I feel better. I can feel the change. To make the commitment complete I decided to buy myself a commitment ring. It was a reminder to keep going and keep pushing towards my goals and dreams.
Letting go of the past and recommitting to yourself isn’t easy, but I believe everyone should do it. Remove negativity and focus on yourself. You are not being selfish or rude. You’re simply teaching others how to treat you and you want to be treated in the best way possible. You don’t need to keep a commitment ring like I did, but never lose focus on who the most important person to you is. No matter who you are with, you should always remember, when you treat yourself well’, then you feel good about treating others well instead of always feeling like it’s a chore. Always chose you and commit to yourself and dreams first.
Discussion: how do you commit to yourself? Are you struggling with self-commitment and if so what changes will you make to recommitting to yourself?